Man Humor

 

I was quite surprised when I opened my email and found this sent to me by my husband, Kenny with the subject line "for your blog" on it. Kenny and Jake have not been strong, avid supporters of "The Baker Baby Project." They haven't told us we couldn't do it… like that would work. I know Kenny is reading it; curiosity killed the cat you know. But when I have asked what he thought of the latest blog entry I have just gotten the "one grunt answer."

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. It is "the grunt!" You know, the one that says: "Does it matter what I really think? You are gonna do what you want to do anyway?"

It's the sound of a husband who has finally realized that it is better to pick and choose your battles carefully and some battles you will never win!

Kenny and Jake have teamed up against me and Katie on more than one occasion. Oh, but they have paid for it!

To fully appreciate the bond that Kenny has with Jake you have to first understand that Kenny was the only man in our house for 17 years -or there about. I know it's been lonely being the only one to leave the toilet seat up.

When your house is full of cabbage patch dolls, little plastic pretend food, barrettes and "hair thingies" you have to do what you have to do to keep your man card.

It's been a battle of the sexes! He never played tea party, nail polish was banned from our house and he never wore pink. He has always been rough and enjoyed torturing us girls with pellet guns, water hoses and stinky armpit hugs. However, we have learned that the word "tampon" will make him clear the room in 2.5 seconds.

    When Katie married Jake finally Kenny has someone that thinks like him in the house. The reward for surviving raising four daughters is the promise of having son-in-laws and the ultimate reward is the possibility of having Grandsons!!

 

So this entry is from the Grandpa to be…its right about his speed….it's man humor:

 

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough.

 

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

 

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A: Childbirth.

 

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?

 

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

 

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

 

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

 

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

 

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

 

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.